If I Didn’t Sin So Much, God Would Answer My Prayer
I used to think I needed extravagant moments to hear from God. I thought I needed to fly to New York City and attend Hillsong Conference and let the brilliant worship music fill my soul to hear His voice. I thought I needed to hike to the top of the Rocky Mountains or kayak in Abel Tasman for God to hear my prayer. I used to think I had to GO to hear God and I thought; maybe if I didn’t sin so much, God would answer my prayer.
It seemed logical. If I lived a more holy life and I stopped sinning, God would love me more. If I stopped going out, God would cure my mom’s cancer. If I stopped lusting, God would give me a Holy Hunk that was more handsome than Channing Tatum. I thought I had to EARN God’s love… and with my state of brokenness and record of sin, there was no way I would be loved.
Psalm 34:18 says, The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saved those who are crushed in spirit..
I woke up on the bathroom floor and inched myself to the toilet. The stench of alcohol filled the small room and I had last nights clothes on. I laid my face on the cold seat and stared into the water. What have I done? I thought. My mom is in chemotherapy and here I am still wasted from last night.
Lucky for us, God knew that we would be broken people of a broken world. He saw me in the deep water and He made sure I didn't drown. He sees you, yes YOU, right where you are He knows just how messy you think your life is. You think you’ve blown it, you think you are too far gone... but honey you are NOT that powerful.
Romans 8:39 says, No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
None of this is by mistake. Your trials become testimony when you invite God into your life. The King of the world LOVES you, and He loves you JUST AS YOU ARE. You don’t have to change or strive for perfection to be known by God. He knows you.. He sees you… and He loves you.
Isaiah 43: 1-3 says, Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
God loved us before we were even born into the world. He ransomed us and He called us by name. He SAVED us… and in doing so He suffered greatly. You see, God suffered too. He suffered SO much… and He did it all for you. He sent His one and only son to the world to bear the pain that we deserved. He didn’t promise that this life would be easy… He promised to be with us in the face of difficulty
“I knew no sin yet I BECAME sin so that YOU may become righteous. I got on the cross for YOU. Give up who you thought you WERE so you can become who you really ARE. You are LOVE.” – what I imagine Jesus is saying to us right now
We don’t have to do anything but accept the love that God is pouring into us. Our circumstances may not be perfect and our lives might be anything but calm… but Christ assures us that our lives don’t have to be perfect for Him to be present. Find rest in that. He is always there… on the kayak with you in Abel Tasman and on the bathroom floor. He meets you where you are and He doesn’t leave you where He finds you.